Chesed and Emet

Yesterday I had the opportunity to share in the celebration of a new marriage at a wedding shower. We guests were asked to share a piece of advice with the newly married couple. At this point in being married, I am certain that I am at the crossroads of "the more you know, the more you know you don't know." The only thing I really know for certain and without hesitation is that God's grace is the merciful and strong thread that holds my marriage together.

I want to tell these newly marrieds, "sometimes it will be hard, but you have to persevere. You have to love the other more than you love yourself, even when you least want to love." But how could that make sense to newlyweds, when everything is shiny and new and glowing?  Then this morning I stumbled across an article on marriage, one that gave the words for what I was thinking but didn't know how to say. From now on, I will say, "chesed and emet."

from Renewing Intimacy in Marriage: Closing the Gap Between You and Your Spouse by David Powlinson
SHARE GOD’S STEADFAST LOVE AND FAITHFULNESS

In the Old Testament two Hebrew words are often used to describe God: chesed and emet. Chesed is translated in the Old Testament as “lovingkindness,” or “steadfast love.” It means committed kindness, a chosen generosity, a resolution to do good to another person no matter what. Emet is translated as “faithfulness” or “truth.” When we say of someone, “She was a true friend,” we’re using the word “true” in the sense that the Bible uses the word emet. It’s someone who’s looking out for your well-being, who is genuinely concerned for your welfare (see Philippians 2:20). God is full of chesed and emet—steadfast love and faithfulness—toward you.

Chesed and emet are also used in the Bible to describe human relationships. Most people seek their own interests, and instinctively do things that create distance and destroy intimacy in their marriage. But when you are committed to treat someone with kindness, when you are genuinely concerned for someone else’s welfare, you will start to be and do the kinds of things that actually build trust, intimacy, and companionship. Chesed and emet are what God is fundamentally like towards us. He is a God who keeps his promises, a God of kindness, a God who forgives. And chesed and emet are also the attributes you need to make your marriage deeply joyous and intimate.