365/365

Dear 2017,

Let's be honest- we had a hard start. Already reeling from tremendous loss in December, we mourned yet again in January. We didn't really recover, not exactly, but we learned to lean in hard on our Savior. We saw his grace and mercy new, time and time again, and in this crazy economy of Already, Not Yet, we kept looking forward. Here it is, the final day of the year, and yes, we find ourselves finishing the year still worshipping the One who is making all things new.

In the in-between months, we were given so much to celebrate- birthdays and graduations, anniversaries and births and announcements of a baby to come. We traveled to new places. We experienced the delight of a beignet and cafe au lait at Café du Monde in New Orleans' French Market. We took in the rainbow hues of Guanajuato homes stacked on a hillside. We oohed and aahed over the orange and golds of the Midwestern change of season.

We heard hard stories in our Reynosa neighborhood, stories of hurt and pain and loss and fear. We heard hard stories in our own families and in families of loved ones, stories of doubt and anxiety and uncertainty. We watched a hurricane come ashore just a 160 miles north of us, and experienced that strange pairing of thankfulness and grief. We followed the news of the world and of our nation, and we often shook our heads. We grieved for families we didn't even know, for tragedy that seemed senseless, for faraway places beyond our reach. And yes, sometimes we were angry- over injustice and over ignorance, over violence and over hate.

Yet even with the hard of all of that, we laughed together. We sang songs together, old and new. We shook our head at the crazy of this world, and at the reality of life that you just can't make up. We played games and watched games and were game to try new things. We know that there is adventure and joy yet to be found.

The greatest experiences yet to come will certainly be found while living another year as a Christ follower, by grace, by faith. I think my prayer on the last day of the year echoes exactly the Valley of Vision prayer for the New Year:

O LORD,
Length of days does not profit me except the days are passed
in thy presence, in thy service, to thy glory.
Give me a grace that precedes, follows, guides, sustains,
sanctifies, aids every hour,
that I may not be one moment apart from thee,
but may rely on thy Spirit
to supply every thought,
speak in every word,
direct every step,
prosper every work,
build up every mote of faith,
and give me a desire
to show forth thy praise,
testify thy love,
advance thy kingdom.

I launch my bark on the unknown waters of this year,
with thee, O Father, as my harbor,
thee, O Son, at my helm,
thee, O Holy Spirit, filling my sails.

Guide me to heaven with my loins girt,
my lamp burning,
my ear open to thy calls,
my heart full of love,
my soul free.

Give me thy grace to sanctify me,
thy comforts to cheer,
thy wisdom to teach,
thy right hand to guide,
thy counsel to instruct,
thy law to judge,
thy presence to stabilize.
May thy fear be my awe,
thy triumphs my joy.

Thank you and good-bye, 2017. And welcome 2018. We are eager to know you.

349/365

(DPP15- Lots of smiles at the Instituto Isaias 55 Christmas Program today!)

The kids file in and begin filling the front row seats, littlest to big. One look shows the varying degrees of anticipation and excitement and anxiety on their faces. The older students might display a hint of "another year of the Christmas program?" boredom. The youngest of the bunch cries and sits in his mama's lap. She tries to take him up to the front to join the other kids, but he's having nothing of it. The rest of the crowd laughs, probably because we all have one kid who put us in exactly the same situation.

We start with the youngest who dance and could never ever have a bad performance simply because they are that cute. The middle grades own the floor with the mime performance and dancing. The older kids fill the most space and know the steps the best of all. This year the adult sign language class joins the fun and "sings" a Christmas carol too. Every performance ends with the hands raised and waving, a rowdy deaf applause.

The room is packed to the gills, full of students and staff and parents and friends and even the city mayor. Maybe we don't think about deaf kids dancing and performing. Yes, they do! After all the certificates and awards and recognitions have been made, we feast on a Mexican banquete-  traditional tamales and every kind of contributions from families. Little kids run around with lips stained green and red from cupcake frosting. Isn't the last day before vacation a great day?

338/365

DPP4-

(the thrill of throwing tinsel on the tree!)

Although our event pales in comparison, Tree Decorating Day feels as big as the happenings at Rockefeller Plaza or the White House. Three trees to decorate at three sites; three Colorado Douglas fir pines, which immediately lost a pound of needles when we cut the twine away from the branches. At each site, we set the trees in their stands and tried to fluff out the branches and wound lights around, top to bottom. (at two sites, we started the lights with the wrong end and had to start over. I'm pretty sure that was my fault, both times...)

The festivities began in the morning in the room next door, with the high school deaf kids. They are awesome. High school kids still love the thrill of Christmas and of getting out of their ordinary work for a special project. But, they know what to do. They put the ornaments on in an orderly manner. They divide and conquer, one group putting on hooks, another group hanging. They pose and look at the camera all at once when directed. They thank you for cookies. It is all lovely.

It goes a little bit differently with the lower school. In preparation, we string the ornaments on an line at eye-level. We hand the kids the ornaments and they put them on the tree. Is it a universal truth that all kids believe that if one ornament on a branch is good, 5 ornaments on a branch is better? (grin!) They laugh when they drop a shiny silver ball and it bounces back up to catch. (unbreakable Christmas ornament balls should be counted as a Great Idea!) And then- the tinsel! They throw it, really!- throw it!, on the tree with unmatched enthusiasm. They gather around the tree for a photo, but the little boys keep moving and no one is looking in the same direction. You can't help but laugh out loud in the thrill of it all.

And then, onto the neighborhood and evening activities. Word on the street was that we were having a Christmas party, and so lots of faces we haven't seen in a while showed up. We bust out the lotería boards for the girls and the littles while the older boys play soccer. We rotate through the Bible story- The Star and the Wise Men and Seeking the Newborn King Jesus, and the coloring project, and the computer lab, all with the kids in anticipation of decorating. Just how do you decorate a single tree with a mob of 25 kids between 4 and 15 years old? We try to line them up to take turns, two ornaments at a time. Some creative kids climb the stairs and lean through the rail perilously, trying to get their ornament to the Very Top. Perhaps no tree has ever been decorated more quickly; it couldn't be more than 5 minutes and every ornament has been hung.

I read this morning about the beginnings of the Christmas tree tradition, that in the 1500's the first trees were called "Paradise Trees." I read that the evergreen trees were said to "represent mankind's fall in the garden of Eden." Those first trees were decorated with apples, representing the fruit of that first tree, the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Over time, the apples were replaced with the round bulbs we recognize today, and lights replaced candles, and we have added many more decorations besides.

This day, even as we celebrated the coming of Christ with this old tradition of decorating the pines, we still acknowledge the consequences of the Fall. We mourned the death of the dad of some of our neighborhood kids. We prayed for wisdom and courage over hard situations with people we have grown to love. Yet even in the hard and dark, we have hope in the life to come. At the end of the day, I think we all smile at the thrill of it all.

335/365

DPP 1-

We received the first announcement about the coming concert in September. We bought the tickets in October. We waited through November. Finally the first day of December arrived!

Let me suggest that possibly the Very Best Way to open the Advent season would be to attend a Christmas concert on December 1. Even better, take a car full of youth. Even better, take your faves! (and maybe, even better, take an adult companion... well, maybe next year...)

Have your daughter sit in the navigator's position, or maybe I should say dj's seat, on the front passenger side and have her choose the tunes for the trip. Stop to pick up the girl who just successfully presented her Freshman project (and bring her a Christmas tree and two Advent calendars because that's what she likes). Go have some lunch at Chick-Fil-A. Make a stop to buy a shirt to replace the one that was the unfortunate victim of coffee spillage (note: for the record- this time it was not me! But we'll allow that girl reveal herself...). Convince the tribe to spend a little bit of time at Half Price Books. Wander through Target for gift exchange treats and a box of cereal and a carton of milk (note: that was for the college student, not for me!). Stop to try on Ugly Christmas Sweaters.
Return to campus. Help to fluff the boxed tree. Charge the phone. Decide that 6 people in one half of a dorm room for two hours might be too much. Waste time at Starbucks. Play Hangman by the rules of the dictatorial uber-competitive sister. Laugh out loud!

Eat at Chuy's! Partake of free nachos and chips and salsa and share the Taco-Enchilada plate and feel stuffed. Navigate your way to the concert parking lot. Enjoy that extra trip back and forth over the pretty lit up bridge when you miss the exit ("keep going" can be interpreted several ways, don't you think?). Don't worry about those multiple u-turns on unlit streets or the GPS recalculating or the exasperated navigator next to you. Worry a little bit about the backseat passengers who need the bathroom now. Park the car. Return your daughter's purse to the car. Return your daughter's camera to the car. Enter the arena at your section, center stage! Turn right and climb 26 rows to the Very Very Top of the arena. Be careful not to trip. Settle in for the concert.

And what a concert! The percussion section from For King and Country left us reverberating toe to head. Why do my eyes water when we start? Was it the fog machine? Was it the thrill of that first familiar line, "Come, they told me, pa rum pum pum pum..." Was it the excited faces of my peeps five seats down? We clapped in time and sang along, even when we could not hear ourselves.

In the devotional I am reading this season, the authors remind us of "What is Advent?"

During Advent, we remember when our Savior stepped out of eternity into time to take on flesh. He came to live among us and offer His life for us, dying for our sins and rising from the grave. At Christmas, we don't just celebrate that He came; we celebrate why He came.We also anticipate Christ's promised return. After Jesus finished the work He had come to do, He promised He would return to establish His kingdom for all eternity. Celebrating Christmas is an act of worshiping the living Savior who will come again to make all things new. Jesus Christ has come, and He is coming again. This is the heart of Advent.(from Joy to the World, Advent 2017 by She Reads Truth)

Celebrating the beginning of the Advent season with A Glorious Christmas tour was indeed glorious.

Thanksgiving 2017

They came by car and by plane, from points around Texas, from work and from school. We were missing four from North Carolina, but the rest of the kids arrived at home in south Texas even before their parents came back from Mexico.

Empty nest, ha!

We planned out the food and bought the bulk of the supplies a week ahead of time, but even so, I needed my sous chefs to complete the shopping.
And to begin the cooking.

They did not disappoint.
Four, FOUR, pies- pumpkin and apple and chocolate pecan and cherry cranberry with homemade crust, even with little cut-out leaves on top.
Homemade cranberry jelly, with the secret change-up of orange juice and ginger.
Sweet potato casserole with streusel on top. (sorry- no marshmallows around here...)
All waiting when I arrived home on Wednesday evening.

Thursday morning, the turkey took its place in the oven early.
We sauteed veggies for dressing.
We boiled and mashed potatoes.
The guys created the Holliday Onion Roll-Ups.
We toasted the rolls.

And we feasted.

So much for which to give thanks as we gather around the table this year.
We counted family and friends who are family, opportunities in school and work,
new babies,
creativity,
beauty around us.
But I also number challenges and sorrows of the year among that to be thankful for, as they have allowed us to know and trust our God more.
No matter the list, we have been richly blessed.

320/365

In a textbook example of What Not To Do as the administrator of the local ESL ministry, I left town for the two weeks prior to the end of the semester and our annual Thanksgiving Celebration. And as testimony to the quality of our ESL ministry staff and to the faithfulness of our students and our God, I arrive back to the good but surprising news that we are expecting over 100 people for dinner on Thursday. 

100 people? 
We added some more tables and chairs and bought some more napkins. 
And I prayed.

We started the Conversational English ministry at Covenant 4 years ago. That very first week we had no idea who would show up. And so we prayed, and continue to pray, that the Lord would give us exactly the amount of people we could handle. That first week, we had three students, and I can honestly say, I was not a bit disappointed, because I really was thankful that we could be trusted with three students. Two of those three students still attend our classes today. Every week after that we continued to add new students, right up to the last week of the year. The ministry has grown every year since. 

So, when we stood at the door and surveyed the fellowship around us, I found myself both giving thanks and feeling somewhat humbled. We figure over 120 people joined us for dinner the Thursday before Thanksgiving. Those faces included students and staff, family and friends and neighbors. I love that our students want to share the night with their family members and their friends. For a long time, I have heard the prayer, "Lord, bring our neighbors to our church." I know from registration forms that most of our students come from the zip code of the church. I know that a few of our students even walk to class each week. Yes, the Lord has brought the nations to our backyard.

I won't post the close-up photos of our students, because I don't have each of their permission to do so. But I do know some of their stories. One dear friend attends classes with us and at another program in town, and I hear her proficiency improving dramatically. Another of my students holds an engineering degree in Mexico, and aspires to work in that field again, but currently works as a waitress. Never assume! One of my students is young, and has changed classes from beginner beginner to intermediate in just a few semesters, always asking questions, always challenging herself more and more. One of my students became a United States citizen last year, just in time to participate in the presidential election. I see my students and I beam. They are dear to me. 

Micah 6:8 reminds us, 
"He has told you, O man, what is good;
    and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
    and to walk humbly with your God?

The ESL ministry accomplishes all of that. I'm thankful and exceedingly abundantly blessed that our church opens the doors to share Thursday nights with our English students and staff. 

See you all in January.

289/365

My phone buzzed in the middle of eating my Kung Pao Chicken. Normally, I am a firm believer in putting away all the electronic devices during a meal. (well, unless we can use it to check out some fun fact, a question that can be answered quickly and definitively. Admittedly, that can lead to rabbit trails so probably keeping the devices hidden remains the better choice. But I digress...) During this meal however, I was waiting for news, and so I kept my phone tucked under my leg. The seat rumbled and I glanced quickly at the lit up telephone screen. The announcement came in a the form of a text, a simple
"Look who is here."
followed by the image of a most precious tiny bundle of perfect human life, a brand new baby.

In The Weight of Glory, C.S. Lewis wrote, "You have never met a mere mortal." I still marvel at the wonder of new life. The miracle of an infant, perfectly formed in miniature, overwhelms me. No less so on this day. I can not begin to understand the circumstances which bring this little guy into my friends' lives, and as such, into my own. But like my most dear friends, I am trusting He who is sovereign over all things, who fearfully and wonderfully creates all life, to work out this story of His glory, too.

We cracked open our fortune cookies and I am pretty certain that my message came to me a day late. Certainly my unexpected blessings arrived today. I traveled the couple hours south to home, contemplating this new wonder the entire way, praying for the complexities of the situation and rejoicing in the simplicity of such a wonderful gift. But before arriving at my own door, I first made a detour,  for a face to face meet up with this new little guy in our lives. We are showered with blessing, indeed.

259/365

I lined up my cards.
I piled up my beans.
The kids next to me prompted me when I missed a square.
The kid next to me won a package of toilet paper.
The lady across from me won a bag of rice.
I traded my cards.
I tried bottle caps.
I'm really not superstitious.
The kid across the way, the one who kept launching beans that bounced off my head, won the jackpot.

The quest for a win continues.

258/365

¡Viva Mexico!
¡Viva handshakes and kisses on the cheek for and from everyone in the room!
¡Viva beautiful girls and lovely women in bright dresses!
¡Viva boys in all manner of sombreros and even seemingly armed for battle and men in guayaberas!
¡Viva the silly photo booth and Mexican mohawks and Mexican berets and Freida Kahlo masks and bigotes big and bigger!
¡Viva the green and white and red!
¡Viva bright table coverings and spicy hot salsas!
¡Viva tamales and posole and tostados!
¡Viva limonada and jamaica!
¡Viva el valero, the traditional Mexican toy that seems so simple, catching a wooden orb on a stick, and is so darned difficult!
¡Viva El Grito!
¡Viva Mexico!

239/365

We unexpectedly found the table full this year, perhaps the silver lining to the otherwise huge Harvey storm clouds. The birthday boy cooked up a feast for the rest of us, pork with bean sauce, stir-fried green beans and rice. But his favorite chef  stepped in to bake the traditional German Chocolate Cake, gooey coconut pecan frosting sandwiched between layers of cake and covered with a deep chocolate ganache. The glow of the candlelight competed with the camera flash, and won. I am thankful for to share another year of life with this guy.

216/365

As far as birthdays go, it met the requirements for 49 years just fine. The commitments of the day require driving back and forth, more miles than I might have chosen, but with good company, the miles pass fast and turn it all to blessing. Catching up means trips to the store and the whole day there is the fighting off of the bug that all of us have seemed to catch. I fall asleep hard on the couch when I stop for just a moment. In the evening, we gather in mass for birthdays and farewells and just to be together. A mess of low country boil spills across brown paper coverings and tea spills on the floor. I find a soft chair to settle and then later move to the feet of friends. The kids groove behind the back lit screen, waving to create shadow dances and silent hand drama to entertain. And then finally, the glow of candles on a sticky sweet pan of cake, one for each of us, and another year begins. There is yet much to celebrate.

186/365

Never take for granted the friends who let you invite yourself over to their outside-the-city-limits home to blow up your leftover not-advised-for-the-cul-de-sac fireworks.
Never take for granted the friends who zealously stuff the back of the Normandy full of grass and paper to get the box to light, and who risk life and limb to rip open hot cardboard to find the hidden fuse.
Never take for granted the friends who cheer when the spark finally flies and who whoop when the mini tank rolls off the deck and onto the asphalt.
Never take for granted the friends who use up a full pack of matches to light the Flying Pig because you were too cheap to buy a punk.
Never take for granted the friends who yelp as loud as you do when the Ladybug screams into the air and at the same time, are thinking how to put out a potential grass fire when it lands on the opposite side of the canal.
Never take for granted the friends who laugh with you and love you well.
Those friends, they are golden.

185/365

Some people like the pop-pop-pop of the Roman candle, bursts of color exploding in the air. Kids of all ages enjoy waving the sparklers, using neon script to write their name in the air. The changing colors of the fountains always bring an oooh and an aaah. My dog, he could do without, running to get closer to us in shaking tremors at the first whistle of explosives in flight.

But me, my favorite? The Fire Engine. Have you seen it? It's just a little box, a red cardboard rendition on tiny black plastic wheels. But the entertainment value of this little guy? Super high! You first light fuse at the back and the truck propels forward with a stream of red flame sizzling out the back. Next the headlights light up bright, complete with sparks; then the top siren neon lights fire up. And finally, best of all, the ladder on the top pops up!

Last year, I bought fireworks, but then we never used them. We really aren't supposed to light up inside the city limits where I live. We got home late after the party last year and deemed my quiet cul-de-sac much too still for pyrotechnics. My birthday was the next likely date, but something happened and the displays never were set.  So they waited patiently in a plastic bag on top of the freezer, pink sticks peeking out in ready anticipation. This Independence Day, I used up my last Fire Engine, and immediately, I wished I could watch in delight one more time. So I quickly scooted over to the nearby stand to get another before the clock struck midnight. Alas, "We didn't get that one this year." No Fire Truck for sale?!

You are missing out, Black Cat.

148/365

A secret can be a hard thing to keep.
I blew it with one daughter, in a "did I really just say that out loud?" moment.
In an instant, in a case of Very Bad Timing, another one saw incriminating email and the gig was up.
But despite my general inability to lie well, another, although justifiably extremely suspicious, really did not know until the very end. (Who could have guessed that the plane arriving in Harlingen originated in Omaha? And our friends from Omaha? Well, they actually flew out of Kansas City...?)

Do you remember your childhood best friends? That family who lived down the street? Those kids who crisscrossed your yard and were in and out of your house? The ones who manned the corner lemonade stands with you and swam at the neighborhood pool with you and survived the most awkward memories of your youth with you?

Those are the girls who came to visit mine today.   And all of our hearts swell in gratitude. Welcome back to the Holliday house, Lucy and Maddie!

146/365

They walked down the aisle, clad in traditional cap and gown. We waved our hands in mad applause. Waved our hands? These proud students claim their status as the first Mexican secundaria equivalency graduates of Instituto Isaias 55, the first deaf school in Reynosa. My teammates tell me stories about when one of these boys started school, kicking and screaming, really- kicking staff in the shins. But over time, they have learned to communicate using Mexican sign language, and they have learned the skills necessary to operate in the real world, and they have learned about Jesus. So this day, we celebrate the students. We celebrate their families and the school staff that labored alongside of them, and we dream of even bigger victories in the years to come.

(To see a news story about the graduation on the local news, here's a link... Vallevision- I55)

134/365

A just right day for Mom's.

132/365

Here might be a primary problem with homeschooling-
if you want something to happen, you might just have to make it happen yourself.

Graduation=T-1week

121/365

Apparently completely oblivious to cultural norms, the kids began to arrive at 4, though we planned for the party to start at 6. The first group helped to raise the banners and move the tables. The girls made their own games with foam mats, little houses and then hopscotch. The Jenga blocks became construction materials, buildings exceeding the height of the little ones (until inevitably, the boys knocked them down- what do you expect?). We played Lotería with real prizes. We hopped and raced and scrambled. We ate hot dogs Mexican style with mustard and ketchup and mayonnaise and tomatoes and cheese and onions and jalapeños and washed it all down with cool jamaica. A whole bunch of kids schemed on how to get an extra treat bag- no, they are not for your toddler sister who barely has teeth and doesn't yet talk. No, they are not for your mom. No, they are not for your aunt. But, if you are our very adorable elderly next door neighbor and you want a treat bag, yes- there is definitely one more bag for you.
Día de los Niños- even for the young at heart.

118/365

Dishes put washed and dried and put away, cake covered linens in the wash, train tracks stored, crumpled colored tissue paper wrapping gathered up, and a content sigh for the day- remembering again the blessing of sharing celebration and the blessing of community that becomes family. We have much to celebrate!

a birthday

We never celebrated a birthday together, since we never lived in the same place. Truth be told, we don't always connect on birthdays, coordinating schedules and phone calls and such. And shamefully, I am often tardy to the post office and gifts don't always arrive when they should. But on this day, I especially remembered the day this guy was born. (I was on a trip to the Mall of America and shopping with friends. The labor took days. We kept waiting on updates and worked hard not to pester. We had lots of time to scour sales racks and amass a small wardrobe for a little guy.)

But today, I grieved that he's not here with us to celebrate. It's been four months and a couple of weeks since Harper died, and no- we're not over it yet. (Yes- I've been asked that. Yes- I've tried to be gracious even so.)

My daughter asked us to share some memories of Harper. You know, Ashley and Tom, how very much we love him. Harper was so very curious. I loved to answer his "why" questions and watch him think and consider the answers (and then challenge me again). I loved to read him stories and hear him debate with his brother the qualities that make one superhero more super than the other. I loved how he would snuggle up right up to my side but not in a demanding or consuming sort of way. I loved how in him I see Ashley, the same inquisitive blue eyes, the same sort of blond cowlicks, the same know-no-stranger friendliness. I loved that he took one more selfie with me at the airport that day.

The memories are sweet, but oh how I long for eternity together.
Happy birthday, buddy.