anniversary

It was all grace, that first fall day, a crisp Saturday in mid-October. Time passed in slow motion, moment by moment. We woke up early, dressed in those very fancy clothes, drove to the church, said the vows and entered into a covenant for a lifetime. And so began a road of walking together step by step and moment by moment, of learning one another and knowing our God intimately.

When I think back on that first day, there’s not one moment that stands out, it’s a series of pictures, of faces, of scenes, of scenery: my granddad somehow ending up in my husband’s family picture, my new daughter so joyous and not carrying a whit about the punch down the front of her dress, my soccer team carrying the train, the brilliant colors of hot air balloons dotting the autumn sky.

21 years later, and still, it’s a series of pictures, of faces, of scenes, of scenery, that replay in my mind: friends old and new, our growing family, homes and travels and adventures and journeys. Those images flash and change, but two things remain steady- he who loves me and Him who first loved us.

Sometimes the step by step of walking forward has travelled a path that seemed rocky and all uphill. There have been moves across the country and back, seemingly leaving everything familiar, and starting over again and again. There were separations, the busyness of life, and the distractions of the world. There have been words that were spoken carelessly, silences which should have been shorter, and sin we wish we never knew.

But on every journey, there comes a turn in the path. It might come at the point when you expect it least, when the climb is not so steep. Suddenly you remember to lift your eyes up instead of concentrating on the ground and your feet and the very next step. There comes a moment when even though you know that you have farther to go and it’s not going to be easy, you suddenly realize, I think we can make it.

We know now, though, that we don’t make it on our own. We make it only because we cling to gospel grace, because that solemn agreement spoken on that fall morning, that mutual pledge we’ve been living out ever since, was based on the promise Christ made to us, I will never leave you nor forsake you. We know forgiveness because He has shown forgiveness to us. We know grace because He has shown grace to us.

So tonight we’ll slide in on each side of the bed, and settle into those familiar places, where my arm slides under his arm and my knee fits behind his knee. I’ll listen to that steady breath another night. We’ll turn when the alarm goes off in the morning and lie together for seven more minutes before starting together again on a mid-October day.  Moment by moment. And that is all grace.