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14 February 2015

44/365

While waiting on dinner to finish cooking, I checked and saw that my friend's Facebook status was updated. I took a deep breath and clicked, and read, 
At about noon today, Cathie finished her race and went to be with her Lord Jesus Christ, and we rejoice that she is now exulting in His presence.

Oh how my heart hurts. She sent me a note just a week before, sharing her son's new disc and talking about a visit to Texas later in the year. But on Tuesday, they made the previously unthinkable decision to move her into hospice care. I sent a note to the family. I remembered. I share it so that others can know how very much one woman made a difference in the life of another. 

Hello my dear friend.

I read on facebook via Jonathan and follow from so-very-far-away that you are fighting stupid calcium levels. I hardly ever say stupid, but it’s the most polite word I can think of. I miss your prayer updates.
I keep thinking, I wish I could visit. I wish I could sit with you. 
I wish I could fix this.

I’m trying to remember back to how we met, to when our God allowed our paths to intersect. I think that it was at Covenant Presbyterian Church in Groton, probably around June 1992. Tim and Ashley and I came to church, sent that way by the folks at Hope Church in Ballston Spa. At that time, Covenant was meeting at a hotel on Sunday mornings (was it Holiday Inn?)- worship in a conference room, adult Sunday school in the bar. Ashley was pretty darn impressed we were going to a church with a pool out front! Ashley ran around with Jonathan and Caroline and Jesse. But wait! In my memory, I vaguely remember a school, too, and John moving chairs around… Where was that? Oh what 20 years and 14 moves can do to a mind!?

Nonetheless, somehow through the wonder of Navy orders and God’s grace, we ended up at Mare Island with you and yours a year or so later. And you blessed my soul, over and again. Tim dropped me off in a new place, very pregnant, and then left to sail with the Baton Rouge through the Panama Canal and to the California coast and then to the shipyard. You and John and the kids welcomed me in like family, and got me across two bridges to worship, and gave me fresh lemons and avocados besides. Keilah arrived and you introduced me to the sanity saving idea that we could have a pattern, a rhythm, to our days. Did you give me a choice that I would participate in the ladies Bible study at the chapel? Or that I would take part in the SOWC activities? Probably not. :-) But I was better for it.

I remember parties at that amazing Admiral’s Row home. The kids running and biking and skating and scootering up and down the walk. Sitting on the porch. Washing dishes after the OCF Bible study. Spaghetti, no cheese, for Jesse (or was it Joshua?) because it made a red itchy ring around his mouth. Legos in the attic. Piano music. Caroline dressing up. Singing. Tiny baby Joel, his foot as big as my big toe, fearfully and wonderfully made.

And then, another year later, and Tim crossed the pier to join John on the Los Angeles and we skipped halfway across the Pacific to Pearl Harbor. We spent those first weeks in paradise at the pool and on the beach. Japanese tourists would take pictures of our blonde wide-eyed kids. We ate Every Single Item on the Koko Cafe menu. Maybe twice. Remember when a stray shrimp showed up on my dessert plate? I hate it when that happens! :-) We went to the Kodak Hula show and I was pregnant and overheated and I have never had a Lemon Ice taste that miraculously good ever again. We welcomed two James. It didn’t seem quite right that the CO’s wife and a JO’s wife could be such friends. I have to confess, you were rarely “the CO’s wife” to me. You were always friend. Sister. Mentor.

I think leaving Pearl Harbor and the Boulden family and you might have been one of the saddest days of my life. But how thankful I am that you never lost me. When you and John hauled the kids up to Washington to see us when the twins were babies and Tim was out to sea- oh how did you minister to me then?! We left the kids, 11 in all by then (was Ashley there? maybe 12?), and you and John and I went to eat at the Boat Shed, on the water in Bremerton. I was starved for adult conversation and you two fed me. I remember a glass of wine and chocolate mousse for dessert, but mostly I remember how good it was to be with you again, how very, very sweet. On some cross-country travel, you all made a detour to Nebraska and again filled our house with Bouldens and we were blessed yet again. I am thankful for a much too quick day with my family and you and your James in DC when we were raising support to head to the mission field. You gave us a whirlwind tour of the monuments and the Air and Space Museum and we caught up on the years in a matter of hours. That must be a characteristic of the best friends, to be apart for years at a time, and yet pick up in a matter of minutes. Thinking about that, the time until we catch up again shouldn’t be too long. 

I’ve told you before, but I don’t want it left unsaid now- you taught this new believer so very much. I so badly needed teaching and you poured into me. You taught me how to study the Bible, how to check Scripture against the words of man, how to hide His word in my heart. You taught me how to pray, specifically and expectantly, for my family and for others. You taught me the beauty of hymns, and the sweet gentle lullabies of Michael Card for my babies. You taught me how important it is to invest in younger women, to share my walk and my family and everyday struggles and everyday joys. I remember those hard hard days with the Los Angeles, when all I could do was sit with you and listen and cry. It never seemed enough, but I think maybe it was. You taught me that sometimes to sit and listen and cry can be enough. Those are the lessons that I carry with me even today.

I confess, I have long hated the cancer that has stalked you for many too many years. But I have seen your fight, your interminable spirit, your very faithful thankfulness to God and His steadfast love to you, and that has been an incredible witness, encouragement  and inspiration to me. It was my great joy that you persevered through a late afternoon cloudburst thunderstorm to meet me in DC this last spring. We sat in that fancy hotel lobby until much too late in the evening, and I heard you making plans for the future, but I also knew that you were very content with the plans God has for you. It is my comfort to know this with great assurance- you are His. I have prayed that He will heal your body completely, that He will give you comfort and peace. I pray that knowing that it is His will and it will be done, if not now, then soon, in eternity. 

We learn in Revelation 21:4-5, “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” Even as you suffer the physical limitations of this broken world, I remember that “we do not grieve as those who have no hope.” When your days on this earth are complete, I will grieve and I will mourn along with the many, many others that you have loved so well, but I will also rejoice. Because of the work of Christ on the cross, because of His resurrection from the dead, and because your faith in Him, you will be made new. WOW, friend! What a thought! You will soon be running and singing and absolutely giving praise and worshipping in His glory, in the presence of the King!

I am thankful that our God allowed us these 20-some years of friendship, Cathie. You are always precious to me, and I love you much, friend.

kristy

As is my practice, I pressed on in memorizing Romans 12 this week, finding myself at verse 15- Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Someday the hurts of this world will all make sense.

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