279/366

I started running about 3 years ago. In honesty, "running" probably isn't the correct word- really, it's more like a shuffle, faster than a walk but almost anyone will lap me eventually. I always loved the idea of running, but never suffered long with the reality. But a few years ago, a friend suggested a 5K and I thought "why not?" and as such, a runner was born.

I didn't run much this summer. I got off track (ha!) after our Epic Trip North and then spent a good many days in Mexico and can't really run there, and well, you know, it's Just Plain HOT here in the summer. But in August, I started up again, with my handy 10K app as my personal trainer, with renewed determination.

Earlier this week, a friend and I laughed over a meme that read, "If you see me collapse, pause my watch." I confess, I laughed a little bit nervously. Running accentuates the very worst of my OCD qualitites. When I run, I clip on my little shuffle for music. I strap on the watch that tells me how far and how slow fast I move. I make sure to pocket my phone for the 10K app and to count my steps and to make a call if I collapse. Finding one of those devices uncharged..., that could be a deal breaker.

When I go out in the morning to run, I first walk to the corner of my street. I tuck in my ear buds. I wait for my watch to find a signal. I fire up the app. Then I do a crazy series of taps and clicks, trying to get the music, the watch, the app started all in sync. I have a mental debate with myself- do I time the "walk" portion of the 10K app, because that will change my average speed...? What about when I have to stop for crawling traffic to cross the street at the school zone...? At the end of the run, I find it impossible to stop in the middle of a song, or at an odd increment of mileage or an odd amount of time. I make an extra loop around my cul-de-sac and wonder if the neighbors see me out the window and think, really? I fully realize how inconsequential and how irrational it all is. I am a 48 year old shuffler! This doesn't matter! And yet...

And yet, despite all that craziness, despite hobbling up the stairs after arriving home because I don't trust my left knee, despite melting to the floor of my room to just lie under the fan and breathe... I love running. I love that I CAN run. I love being out. I love when my most loved songs come on my already favorite playlist. I love the random dogs that follow me and seem to love running too. (I don't love the pit bull that scared the bejeebers out of me this morning, but thankfully, that's rare...) I love the world awakening at dawn. I love noticing the change in seasons and the glory of the sunrise.

'Cause I will run and not grow weary 'til I'm face to face sings one of my favorite running tunes.
I'm gonna run.