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It is very tempting for Christians to assume that if one has the joy of the Lord they will be gregarious, full, sanguine, and abounding always. But I, like my friend, have found more of God in the autumns and winters than in the springs and summers of my faith. I have found more of friendship in the old ones than in the new ones. More of faith in its absence than in its presence. More of life in the discipline of God than in the gifts of men.
- from "Sufficient for Its Day," by
Lore Ferguson Wilbert on Sayable blog.

Five personalities, five ages, five life stages, 17 kids and some in-laws and some of us working on grands- we never lack for conversation. We try to meet monthly, though sometimes coordinating schedules can be a challenge. On this day one of the band could not join us, and although we missed her much, it did give the other four of us 5% more croissant, more cinnamon roll, more cream cheese and salmon to eat. (just sayin'...) I'm sure I drank her share of the coffee, too.

The two hours around the table passed like a few clicks of the second hand. We take turns, one by one, sharing our heart. We catch up on happenings and family. Life presents us with so many complicated stories, doesn't it? So many questions and endings yet to be written, so few answers and bona fide conclusions. We certainly have known autumns and winters of faith, all of us. We have all had times of leaning hard, of questioning our own sufficiency but never that of our God. We each have sometimes wondered out loud, how is this all going to work out? 

The first time I sat with these ladies, I knew I was home. We prayed together and I cried. When we moved from Omaha, I left a similar group of women, a band that remains more dear than words can really express well, and I was mourning. These ladies are the rare exception in my life, among the few that I have trusted from the very first. They have both rejoiced and mourned with me, as I have with them. They cut to the chase quickly. If I don't want to speak the absolute truth with them, I wouldn't look them in the eye. But I always do. 

I don't know about more friendship in old than new. One I have known for many many years and trust with my life. One I have known for less than a handful, and still, I think of her as my younger sister. Perhaps the other two are my personal yin and yang, complementary and yet dynamic; two sides of a coin, each as valuable as the other. I think it is a rare privilege, to call these ladies friends, and yet the word itself hardly seems enough. They show me the joy of the Lord. I return home and recognize, I am blessed.