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06 October 2009

My hands

In general, I have had few laments over aging. I like getting older. Honestly, I don't think about it often.
Until I look at my hands. And then, I remember.
I am aging. My hands are aging.

Oh, my hands have never been pretty. (well, ONE single day they were pretty- when I had fake nails on my wedding day. We took a picture. It lasted much longer than the nails did...)

My hands look wrinklier than they used to, more creased than my girls' hands.
My hands show scars. A scar of four stitches from having a wart removed when I was in 7th grade. The scars of two dark lines from an oven burn months and months ago. And yes, scars from knife cuts, too.

And my hands are starting to show those same brown age spots that my grandma had. They seem to appear overnight, and grow in the next.

My hands are not as strong as they once were. Sometimes I hand a jar to my son to open. Sometimes, especially as the weather cools, my hand ache and I rub them together, slowly.

And then, I remember.

At the concert the other night, as this song played, I looked at my hands again.
And then, I remember.
I'm thankful that I do not have to rely on myself, on my hands, on work, to know peace.

written by Horatius Bonar, 1861

Not what my hands have done
Can save my guilty soul
Not what my toiling flesh has borne
Can make my spirit whole
Not what I feel or do
Can give me peace with God
Not all my prayers and sighs and tears
Can bear my awful load

Thy work alone, Oh Christ
Can ease this weight of sin
Thy blood alone, Oh Lamb of God
Can give me peace within
Thy love to me, Oh God
Not mine, Oh Lord, to Thee
Can rid me of my dark unrest
And set my spirit free

And I bless the Christ of God
I rest on love divine
And with unfaltering lip and heart
I call this Savior mine
His cross dispels each doubt
I bury in His tomb
Each thought of unbelief and fear
Each lingering shade of gloom

And I praise the God of grace
I trust His truth and light
He calls me His, I call Him mine
My God, my joy, my life
Tis He Who saveth me
And freely pardon gives
I love because He loveth me
I live because He lives

3 comments:

Karen said...

Ah, I see the same thing, see my mothers hands becoming mine!

Joetta said...

Your hands have touched so many lives and are always open to help others.

sperlonga said...

One of my favorite hymns!
On the funny side, when we were in college one day Denny said to me, "You have nice hands." I thought, "Weird, who says stuff like that???" But that's Denny! :)